Before I gave birth to my beautiful girl Sloane, I heard countless times, when you have your first, you'll be overwhelmed with a love like never before. Now I get it. I'm completely in love with my little girl. After fifty hours of contractions and being in labour for almost a full day (eek), Sloane Olivia Walsh finally graced us with her presence. I say without hesitation it was the proudest moment of my life. When I held her in my arms for the first time, it felt like a dream. I think I was so exhausted and overwhelmed by the entire experience that when she was finally here, it seemed too good to be true. When it came to labour and delivery, we definitely had our ups and downs. Luckily, both families were at the hospital to give us their support. It was a packed waiting room, even the nurses joked about how many people we had by our side. Over the course of the day, our family congregated, told stories, made us laugh and gave me the energy needed to get our daughter out safely. We're truly lucky to have such incredible friends and family.
If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we're just over a month in with our baby girl. It's incredible how much light she has brought into our lives. When she snuggles up on my chest, looks up at me before she falls asleep or I hear her cute little sounds, my heart explodes. I don't think my husband Ryan and I were expecting her presence to hit us this hard (in a good way). It's safe to say our little family is bursting with love! Our dog Billy even keeps a close watch over her and sneaks in kisses from time to time. We treasure every single moment and can't wait to see this sweetheart develop and grow into a little lady.
Want to know what I've been up to these days? Every day has been different but sort of the same. I'm on a mission to get her into a rhythm and develop a proper sleep schedule, but really, she's a newborn, so she naps when she wants. Somehow we've managed to get out every day for fresh air, whether it be a walk to my favourite coffee shop, a stroll in High Park or a visit with family and friends. People are crazy about this little babe and my calendar is packed with get togethers. Although seeing our favourite people on a regular basis is nice, it's also very exhausting, especially when Sloane decides to pull an all nighter lol. These days, my main focus is making her feel comforted, safe and loved. Happy to say breastfeeding has been going very well. I was a bit concerned about it throughout my pregnancy, but we've been so fortunate in that department. Feedings have been smooth and our daughter's gaining the proper amount of weight, which is such a relief for a new Mom. Our constant snuggle sessions are ones I cherish, because I know this won't last forever. This includes readings from books that were given to her from the wonderful women in my life and lullabies well into the night. I find soothing and feeding her are both very time consuming, but the pay off has been significant. She's a calm and very content baby.
She's going on six weeks now and I'm already seeing so many differences in her personality, both adorable and mildly frustrating. One thing I can't get enough of is her smile. When I kiss her lips, cheeks or neck, she often cracks a smile and it just melts my heart. Not to brag, but I find her super animated for how young she is. Her eyes are bright, she has fierce kicks and punches and says a lot with her facial expressions. I can already tell she won't be shy! On a more serious note, one aspect of motherhood I'm struggling with is sleep deprivation. Sloane's clock is backwards, so she sleeps all day and is up a majority of the night. Last night, she was awake until 7 AM and only slept for a couple hours. I've been given advice to sleep when she's down, but there's so much to take care of in adult life, I haven't been able to settle for long enough in the afternoons. Anyway, I'm sure I'll find a solution soon. No one said this would be easy or perfect. Speaking of.....
I know I've only been at this for a handful of weeks, but I've already picked up some negative vibes in the Mom world. I've noticed that there's unrealistic expectations for us to be perfect and when we aren't, that makes us failures. Sad, and completely unfair.
To all my fellow Mothers: yes, we are in charge of another life and it is a major responsibility. Sometimes you feel like you're on top of the world, other days you feel like screaming into a pillow and can barely find time to get dressed. Just remember, there are growing pains in this process and when it comes to raising a baby, it's next to impossible for us to not make mistakes. Caring for a newborn is tricky and requires an infinite amount of patience and sacrifice. So, if you have just given birth, are pregnant or thinking about having a kid, don't let others make you feel inadequate. Trust your instincts, do everything you can for your child and it's all good! There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to approach or style. It's your baby, so don't let anyone judge your techniques. And if you can, support other women who are going through this. After all, we're in this together. Babes supporting Babes, right?
Have I mentioned that I miss the Fashion Truck and all of you wonderful ladies? I've been receiving emails and beautiful messages from a lot of you and I can't thank you enough. When you're out at different parties and events everyday, you sometimes forget how amazing our little community is. Now that I've had time to reflect on my amazing job, I appreciate you all so much more. I want you to know that I'm so grateful for all your well wishes and miss you dearly! I'll be back on the truck before you know it. For now, I'm going to enjoy this time with my baby girl.
Thank you for reading my post! See you soon.
Kayla xoxo